Confronting my parasocial relationship with the dental receptionist

I haven’t been to the dentist in three years. Not because I get particularly worried about the dentist or for any real reason in particular. Really it just seemed unnecessary, didn't exist in my day-to-day reality. 

I write this in the waiting room, the radio squeaking out washed up pop music. I've always loved a reception waiting room. When I was a little girl, I used to spend half an hour every week, waiting for my brother at his appointments. I would read the Women's Weekly, Hello, Creme Magazine; anything I could get my hands on. Nothing brought me calm like sitting in the perfectly warm waiting room, pop songs quietly playing on the radio, eating up gossip about some American couple's cheating scandal. I've always loved a liminal space and this was bliss. 

Anyway, today is slightly different. They've taken away the gossip magazines, a girl's best friend, and the music doesn't quite hit the same. Now I sit here in anguish, waiting to see the girl who I met in the library two years ago. Our friendship lasted for approximately two hours but she lives on in my MindPalace. I follow her on instagram and my best friend and I call her Freaky Nature Girl. 

I am called through to the dentist's room (I have to leave my safe space) and I am introduced (again) to Freaky Nature Girl. Worse, she is no longer the receptionist, she is the dental assistant. She now knows I have not been to the dentist in three years.

I giggle a lot. She is very pretty and I am very nervous. The dentist asks me if I am scared, I say no, and he wonders why I have cancelled this appointment three times already. If only he knew. 

Alas, I have perfect teeth. At one point the dentist makes Freaky Nature Girl hold a mirror over my shoulder so I can 'demonstrate' my flossing strategy. Apparently this is abnormal (comment ur flossing strategy below). She congratulates me on never having had a filling. Nothing bad happens. Sometimes its important to confront the things which feel big, which you may have made big in your beautiful mind. In reality, nothing is ever as big as it seems. It might just cost you $140 for some exposure therapy, and dental validation.

Hannah <3